wnbasars 发表于 2012-12-11 18:50   全显示 1楼
假面舞会感觉还不错，就是人数比例不对等，场面描述的有些简单了。其实这张应该多一下描写，毕竟有几个人都是第一次这样的接触的。心里会很忐忑的，情绪也会更高涨，肉戏的花样也会多一些。这样故事就会显得更丰满一些。小雨得出也来得有些快了，这种环境。小雨可能马上就可能跟大家来场车轮战了。心里感觉有些不忍。
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